If I Could Turn Back Time


For those who remember Cher in the 80s, the tune to the song with this title is probably playing in your head. I’m an 80s child and proud of it. There is so much truth to the title of this song. If you and I could turn back time, we would probably do a lot of things differently. Some might view this as my public confession, but I want to use this to help others.

If I could turn back time, I would have…

Refused to be moulded by a Bible college or denomination and attempt to come out like everyone else. God designed me a certain way, but I denied that for many years in order to fit in with people who would criticize me anyway. My preaching style and way I ministered modeled others who tried to force ideology on me, and I exercised little grace. I would have started out being more approachable and authentic.

Received more godly counsel before I ever got married. I had never been in a relationship before my ex-wife, and I was clueless on everything. I would have missed out on some heartache potentially had I sought the right kind of counsel and known more about relationships and marriage.

Developed more skills before entering ministry. When I entered vocational church ministry, I had some musical and preaching ability. However, all my college degrees and jobs were church-related until a few years ago. When I went through my separation and divorce, I resigned the pastorate to find great difficulty in entering the world outside of church. The few who would interview me said, “Your resume says, ‘church, church, church’.” God stepped in and gave me the position I have today as a hospice chaplain. It still utilizes my degrees, but it outside the “divorce discriminated” church world that is hesitant or opposed to allowing me to fulfill my calling. I guess I missed the part of the Bible that says I got uncalled when divorce ravaged my home. The last time I read Romans 11, it said that the gifts and calling of God are without repentance. I’ll take the Bible over man’s opinion any day.

Declined a church job offer that did not fit my ministry philosophy or was not a place to which I was clearly called. I took some church positions where I did not align philosophically. My style of music or pastoring did not mix well with the personality of the church. I met some great people in those places, but the way God led me to lead was not welcome at those churches. Now that I am more in the bivocational ministry realm, I can easily say no to churches that are not a good match. I don’t currently have a church that can threaten me by holding my job over my head. I have a job. I’m not saying that everything will be perfect if you find a place that is similar to you, but it makes things a lot easier.

If you could turn back time, what would you do differently? Maybe you got everything right. Good for you! Most of us would change some things. You can’t undo the past, but you sure can do something about here and now. You can make better choices to affect your future. Now is the chance! What are you going to do?


9 thoughts on “If I Could Turn Back Time

  1. Great post. I think I would change nothing because I see NOW that all those things I goofed up royally helped mold meant the now me. If I went back and did all things right I really don’t think I would be very deep and as close to God.
    That’s me anyway. ๐Ÿ˜€

  2. Love this. I too clearly remember that song and have thought about “turning back time”. I would probably do some of the same things that you have stated especially seeking the Godly counsel before marriage. I also love what you wrote here…” I guess I missed the part of the Bible that says I got uncalled when divorce ravaged my home. The last time I read Romans 11, it said that the gifts and calling of God are without repentance. Iโ€™ll take the Bible over manโ€™s opinion any day.” I can tell you that when my marriage fell apart through my husband’s infidelity and abuse, I was filled with guilt that I had failed God when I decided upon divorce. The denomination that I was in is not supportive of divorce for any reason. But as I look back, it was this that drove me into God’s loving Arms and to seek Him in an intimacy that I had never experienced in a church. Yes, I too will take God’s word over man’s. And that is what He is calling us to do anyway! God bless you, my friend!

    • Thank you for sharing this with me! Only those who have been through a divorce know. Life is much different now. I’m still making adjustments, but I have seen God move in wonderful ways through the difficulties. The early days were filled with lots of betrayal by many, but I came back to where I currently live to find people who loved me through it. The Lord is sweeter to me now because there were times when I felt like He was all I had. The truth is that He is all I need!

      • Amen! You are so right. That is where He wants us… totally relying on Him and waiting on Him. Unfortunately, so many of us only find that intimacy with Him in our brokenness. It becomes the catapult into His arms. Many blessings to you and your future!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s