I was conversing with a friend today, and we were discussing things to which we should have said no. This began a series of thoughts in my head about times when we should say no or “I don’t/won’t”, etc.
As we get older, we begin to think about dating and related subjects. For me personally, I thought about it all through middle and high school but was afraid of rejection. I finally got up the courage to ask out someone in college who later became my wife of 14 years. She is the mother of my children, but there were plenty of signs that told me I should have said “I don’t.” For practicality sake, I will give some general principles for when you should say “I don’t” rather than “I do”.
1. Hormones are never a good reason to say “I do”. Even if you have given yourself to that person, there are good reasons to say “I don’t.” I know the “try before you buy” philosophy is popular, but get some guts and say “I don’t”.
2. Differences in religion are a good reason to say “I don’t”. Let me say that I know several couples who got married when one was a Christian and the other wasn’t. The unbeliever did give his/her heart to Christ, but this isn’t a general rule. People of different Christian denominations tend to experience tension. If you can’t stand it, you might want to say “I don’t”.
3. Different career paths may be a good reason to say “I don’t”. If one does not support the other, move on and spare yourself the drama.
There is so much more I could say. I hope to go deeper in another blog. To be continued…