Advice to Single People Who Are Called to Ministry

If I knew that I could speak to high school and college students who definitely have a call on their life, I would talk more about one thing above all others – who you marry. Your spouse can make or break you! How do I know? I’m divorced and remarried. I would do a million things different, and so would my ex-wife. I won’t speak for her, but I can clearly speak for myself.

  1. If you see any red flags before marriage, don’t ignore them! These red flags are often placed by the Holy Spirit to let you know that you and that person are incompatible. If your religious beliefs, philosophy on spending, or any crucial matter is questionable, find someone else. It is not worth being miserable when God has made it clear to move on before you get married.
  2. If someone does not share your call to ministry or resents it, move on. Don’t expect that person to change! He or she will not eventually warm up to it. 
  3. If this person suppresses who God made you to be, move on! If you have the choice of who your mate will be and that person constantly belittles you, run!
  4. Listen to the advice of others! If friends, family, and wise believers are advising you not to marry this person, move on! Godly counsel has been put in your life for a reason. Heed their warnings! It will save you some heartache.
  5. Find a counselor who will tell you like it is. There a lots of nice men and women out there who may have known you for a long time. Don’t use them! Find someone who doesn’t know you and can play devil’s advocate. If you can survive that, you might have a future.
  6. Don’t get married just for sexual pleasure! Many young men and women are guilt-tripped into marrying rather than burning with lust (see I Corinthians 7). Many couples have allowed lust to bring them together. It will eventually fade. The Scripture says, “What GOD has joined together, let no man separate.” Be sure that the Lord has ordained your relationship.

Being called to vocational ministry isn’t easy. You don’t need the added stress of a spouse who creates constant drama for you. You may minister well to some degree, but your home won’t be a sanctuary. Another thing – the church will pick up on the marital discord and have a ton of fun with it. If you are single, you can choose now. You don’t have a marriage deadline before you turn into a pumpkin. Let God align your relationship. You’ll be glad He did.


8 thoughts on “Advice to Single People Who Are Called to Ministry

  1. “Another thing – the church will pick up on the marital discord and have a ton of fun with it. ”

    Oh, that is so true! So cruel, too. We shouldn’t do that. I wish we wouldn’t get involved in so much divorce shaming either. I don’t know what’s wrong with people.

    I think marriage is a ministry all of it’s own. Sometimes if we can picture that, it helps us to understand what we are getting into. Marriage is a calling, a ministry.

  2. What great advice and words of wisdom –
    I teach Christian HS Classes and I try to instill in my students the importance of being equally yoked – especially on religious beliefs & philosophies of life.
    Thank you for sharing – God bless you

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