I am constantly in conversations about narcissists. Based on the conversations I have, the vast majority of people must be narcissistic so the stage may very well clear.
What is narcissism? It is “extreme selfishness, with a grandiose view of one’s own talents and a craving for admiration, as characterizing a personality type” (Source unknown). With this definition in mind, once again the stage may clear. This generation says we are entitled and deserve all these great things. Many psychologists are feeding them full of themselves and never making them confront wrong attitudes and actions. You should do what makes you feel good, right? Wrong! Going to a job you don’t like may not make you feel good, but responsibility trumps you feeling good. Owning up to a mistake doesn’t feel good, but most people choose to blame others (something that started with the first sin and is a card that narcissists frequently play). Your best friend dies, and the conversation becomes about them. You are diagnosed with cancer, and somehow the conversation gets turned toward the narcissist’s drama at work.
Many of you have people in your life that are narcissistic and drain the life from you. If you are the Narcissist reading this, please rescue yourself from yourself and spare others. You are toxic to your family, friends, coworkers, and yourself. You may think you aren’t a narcissist, but a good indicator is if every problem in your life is related to someone else and you think you never react immaturely or improperly. Most narcissists never think they have a problem and end up driving everyone away.
We all need people in life who will help us see when we are wrong. I’m not saying we need people who always point out the wrong. There is a MAJOR difference! Find a godly person or someone you know who genuinely loves you and will tell you like it is because they care. Then redirect your attention from yourself and start doing things for others NOT because you want recognition but because you have a genuine love for others.
11 thoughts on “Let the Narcissist Exit the Stage”
Hmmm, I’d like to add it’s a lot more than just some of the things you listed. An important part about them is that they don’t drive ppl away. They love having ppl around that is where their fuel comes from. They need this attention (good or bad) and admiration to survive. This, however, encompasses a bunch of things. Take a minute as a pastor to get inside the head of a narcissist. You will see how easy it is for these ppl to hide in the church right under your nose. Let me give you a site for you to browse. narc site.wordress.com This site is ran by a diagnosed narcissistic sociopath. His reason for his site and being so open with his behavior is a part required by his therapist. You can ask him anything and he will respond. He has told me specifically that the church is a breeding ground for them because there are so many Empaths there, women especially. They are the wolves in sheep’s clothing.
After reading some of your material, I value your expertise greatly. I struggle tolerating those of this breed. I know that sounds horribly insensitive coming from a pastor, but that stems from very personal dealings with this kind. You make a great point about them being magnets. The one who was closest to me repelled me. I must admit that my empathetic nature did long to help these people, but I am still learning my lesson on how to help. Thanks for stopping by and sharing!
I sent you an email.
Thank you! I just sent a response.
thank you for sharing this site
This makes me think of a friend who can always compare what is going on in her life with the lives of others rather than simply listen to what others have to say. My heart aches for her and I pray for her often that she will allow God to fill her love tank with the fullness of Him rather than seek the attention of others and feel the need to let everyone know her every move and life detail.
I had to go through my own pain to understand it is better to listen than try to fix or outdo someone’s story. The ones I remember most from that season of my life were those who lovingly listened. It is easy for me to become impatient with people like this, so your reminder for us to pray is needed.
My dear husband suffers from this personality disorder. Quite frankly, he is impossible. Impossible to the point I gave up. I can tell him nothing because he is next in line to God (very sarcastically speaking of course…he sees truth in this, though). When I gave up, God said “good!” I am watching from a distance the works of an Almighty God and claiming victory in His name! Thank you for sharing.
A lot of narcissists in the workforce get away with their behavior because they “get things done”. As sad as it is, our society is set up to reward narcissism in many ways. We write and watch TV shows around the arrogant but successful anti-hero and totally legitimize them. “House”, “Two and a Half Men”, and “The Apprentice” come to mind.
Maybe one day we’ll stop using our remotes to vote for this trait.
Sad but true, Brandon!
I just know that when I discovered that God made me to make other people’s lives better, my life got better too.