Death Brings Perspective

About a week and a half ago, I received word that my cousin had a stroke. They removed a blood clot from her brain and were attempting to clear up an infection in order to perform some much-needed heart surgery. Things were very risky. Almost a week later, I received some messages from family saying they were removing the life support and transporting her to a hospice facility. Around 1:00 am this morning, her suffering ended.

I have thought a million things since I received the initial news. The first was that this was my “little cousin”. She was 36 years old. We were almost 2 years apart. I was an only child, she was an only child until she was 8, and our “littler” cousin was an only child who came along when we were 5 and 3. We played together at grandma’s house. Despite the fact that they were both girls, they were always kind (for the most part). We played well together (for the most part). In those early years of life, we were raised more like siblings than cousins. The only benefit was that we got to go home to our parents.

This “little cousin” was now a mother of 3 children. I moved away, and we went different directions in life. Unfortunately, I have not seen her since our grandma’s passing in 2004. Today, she leaves those 3 children, her parents, a brother, sister, and other family and friends behind. If we had our way, we would have kept her here but not in the condition she was in for her last days.

Through this tragedy, I have had the opportunity to be in contact with relatives I have not communicated with in quite some time. Sickness and death have a way of bringing people together like nothing else. The death of someone so young has quite an impact on people. I pray that, through Tabby’s death, people will unite, healing will take place, and people will wake up to the fact that life is short so we better not take one thing for granted.

To close out, I’m going to share some pictures of her and some that include others in the family. This is my tribute to her.

Tabby is on the far right along with me and Suzanna in the middle.
This was before the girls had siblings.
Tabby is in the back with her parents and her little brother,
Jaren, who came along 8 years later.
Tabby is on the far right, now with 2 siblings. My Aunt Christina (second from left) had each child 8 years apart. Ellyza (far left) came along when Tabby was 16.
This picture was taken a while back because Ellyza is now 20.

19 thoughts on “Death Brings Perspective

  1. So sorry for your loss. Death does have a way of making us face our own mortality. It reminds me of the scripture: So teach us to number our days, that we might apply our hearts unto wisdom. Psalm 90:12 Thanks for sharing.

  2. My condolences. And, yes, death brings perspective. I’m pretty sure that’s why I had to pass a cemetery every day for two years as I trudged three miles to work and three miles home, whether it was 0 degrees or 90. Freshly dug plots shut me up.

  3. Matthew, what tragic news! I will pray for you and your family now. May you and your loved ones experience the comfort, peace, and presence of the Lord now and always. 🙏🏾

  4. Sorry to hear about your loss Matthew. Death is painful and ugly. God is the only one who can take the sting of it away. I’m so thankful for the hope we have in him. My prayers are with you and the family today, dear brother.

    1. Thank you! There will be a memorial service Sunday night, but I will not be able to attend. I can’t imagine how my uncle and aunt feel losing a child and how her three children feel losing their mother. I pray that the God of all comfort will sustain them and reveal Himself. I am already seeing how her sickness and death have brought parts of the family back together.

  5. Wow, that’s so hard. Our family has lost relatives and friends these last couple of years, and it’s always tough.

  6. I’m so so sorry for your loss. Praying for peace over you and your family. Take all the time you need 💛

  7. Matthew, sorry for your loss. Last week Rick and I lost 2 close friends and one family member to death – all three in 7 days. Two were in their 90s and one in his 70s, but it is sad to lose those you love no matter their age. One was like a second mother to us. Another was the father-in-law of one of our sons, but also a life-long friend of ours, and the third one was Rick’s father, the last of our parents to leave this earth. It was a rough week emotionally for us. So, I empathize with you in your loss of your cousin, and I also feel for her family she has left behind. Praying for your and their comfort at this time. Sue

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