Difficult Decisions

All I can say is that 2021 was full of difficult decisions. The easiest decision, though still emotional because I was leaving a great church, was the decision to obey God and pastor the church I currently serve. The other decisions were a bit challenging. This post will give you some honest thoughts as well as a potentially surprising curveball.

Early last year, I left my job I had for almost 7 years. I worked with a wonderful team – a team I still pop in and visit occasionally. This was my 8:00-5:00 family for a long time. Because of some changes with the company, I thought it might be best to move on. 

I quickly discovered that moving on had a little more to do with my flesh than I wanted to admit. It was a more established company, but I never sensed I was at the right place. God confirmed that in September. 

I took yet another job to sustain us, and knew yet again that I was not at the right place. Not that it was a horrible place, but it began to present schedule challenges that conflicted with the church and with my family. Many people would say, “Forget the time with your family. You have to put food on the table.” My response would be, “I would much rather my wife and kids remember my presence than a plate full of fried chicken with an absent father.” The challenge of the blended family, especially when some of those kids live 3 hours away, is unique when you are trying to work and pastor. I know God has called me to this church and has called me to my family, so I’m just crazy enough to believe God will take care of us.

I love when God confirms the twists and turns of my life, primarily the work choice to make some income while having schedule flexibility to focus on family and church. I have a very dear trusted prayer partner I shared several things with about a week ago. As we talked today, she shared with me, “Matthew, as I prayed, God wanted me to share with you that you make your family a priority and He will take care of the rest.” She shared other tidbits of wisdom. I couldn’t help but wipe away tears as she shared and confirmed what God had already made so clear to me.

When you seek the Lord, He gives peace amidst the difficult decisions. When you make your own plans, life brings the chaos to which I can testify. God had to sift me in order to bring me to a place where I would obey and trust Him. Yet He has a beautiful way of confirming His direction through men and women who walk with Him. While 2021 was a year of difficult decisions, I would not trade the lessons for anything. My prayer is that all I have learned from the Lord will make me a better husband, father, pastor, and servant of God.