Difficult Decisions

All I can say is that 2021 was full of difficult decisions. The easiest decision, though still emotional because I was leaving a great church, was the decision to obey God and pastor the church I currently serve. The other decisions were a bit challenging. This post will give you some honest thoughts as well as a potentially surprising curveball.

Early last year, I left my job I had for almost 7 years. I worked with a wonderful team – a team I still pop in and visit occasionally. This was my 8:00-5:00 family for a long time. Because of some changes with the company, I thought it might be best to move on. 

I quickly discovered that moving on had a little more to do with my flesh than I wanted to admit. It was a more established company, but I never sensed I was at the right place. God confirmed that in September. 

I took yet another job to sustain us, and knew yet again that I was not at the right place. Not that it was a horrible place, but it began to present schedule challenges that conflicted with the church and with my family. Many people would say, “Forget the time with your family. You have to put food on the table.” My response would be, “I would much rather my wife and kids remember my presence than a plate full of fried chicken with an absent father.” The challenge of the blended family, especially when some of those kids live 3 hours away, is unique when you are trying to work and pastor. I know God has called me to this church and has called me to my family, so I’m just crazy enough to believe God will take care of us.

I love when God confirms the twists and turns of my life, primarily the work choice to make some income while having schedule flexibility to focus on family and church. I have a very dear trusted prayer partner I shared several things with about a week ago. As we talked today, she shared with me, “Matthew, as I prayed, God wanted me to share with you that you make your family a priority and He will take care of the rest.” She shared other tidbits of wisdom. I couldn’t help but wipe away tears as she shared and confirmed what God had already made so clear to me.

When you seek the Lord, He gives peace amidst the difficult decisions. When you make your own plans, life brings the chaos to which I can testify. God had to sift me in order to bring me to a place where I would obey and trust Him. Yet He has a beautiful way of confirming His direction through men and women who walk with Him. While 2021 was a year of difficult decisions, I would not trade the lessons for anything. My prayer is that all I have learned from the Lord will make me a better husband, father, pastor, and servant of God.

Some Balances Shouldn’t Be Transferred

If you are like me, you may find yourself needing to transfer a balance from time to time. Our checking account is set up to transfer $1 for each transaction into our savings account. As life happens, we occasionally need to transfer some money from savings back into our checking account in order to prevent a negative balance. Not every balance in life should be transferred.

As we usher in a new year, some things need to be left behind. Some things are not meant to be carried into 2022. We often cherish mindsets, ways that no longer work, attitudes, and all kinds of things that we should have never embraced to start with. People often know they need to change, yet they hold on to the very things that kill them.

As you prepare to enter a new year, I encourage you to assess your life. What needs to stay behind? What people, attitudes, mindsets, etc. need to be left behind in order for you to walk in the joy of the Lord? If you truly want to know, the Holy Spirit will reveal these things to you. The choice is yours whether you will continue to walk in bondage or walk in freedom. My recommendation is you walk in freedom. You’ll be glad you did!

Christmas Passed Me By

I, like many others, had some wonderful plans for Christmas. This is my first Christmas as pastor of our church, so I was looking forward to this church’s customs and festivities. Then, December 11 came…and along came COVID! It decided to linger in our house for a bit. For a solid week, I did little more than stay in the bed. While my mind seemed extremely foggy, God reminded me of a few things.

The first reminder came in the form of a verse of Scripture that hangs on our bedroom wall. The verse says something to the effect of the Lord will fight for me, so I need only be still. Being still was all I really wanted to do while I was sick, so it seemed like a great option😂. I found it sad that sickness had to force me to be still so I would relinquish my battles to the Victorious One.

In being still, it forced me to notice the little things. The “little thing” I kept noticing was the house across the street which is visible from our couch through the dining room window. The stone on the house is gray. It looks so calming in the rain and fog. At night, it is subtly lit with Christmas lights that is has a calming effect on my spirit. Even now, I gaze upon this house on this cloudy day. 

This time of sickness forced me to go back and enjoy memories of Christmases past. For many years, the “Newsong” Christmas albums were a huge part of celebrating the season. Thanks to Apple Music, I was able to bring those back and listen on Christmas Day. These sights and sounds of Christmas were able to bring moments of joy to what could be considered less than desirable.

I must admit this Christmas has made me very emotional. My schedule with my oldest kids got messed up this year due to COVID (on both sides of the family). I’m an emotional bird anyway, so I have found the tears flow just a little easier. While it may feel Christmas has passed me by, the reality lives with me daily.

This is the true reality of Christmas – “But when the fullness of the time had come, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, that we might receive the adoption as sons” (Galatians‬ ‭4:4-5‬). With this said, Christmas didn’t pass me by; it came to live among us. So, to anyone else who seemed to have a less than desirable circumstance this year, remember the truth of Christmas and let it flood your heart with joy.

The Power of Journaling

What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think of journaling? For me, it’s all the fancy doodling that ladies are so much better at doing than men are. I think of the drawings and calligraphy surrounding the body of what someone writes. I hate to break it to you, but my journaling doesn’t look a thing like that. No doodling and lots of sloppy writing, but thoughts are therapeutically written on a page, and I find great joy and release as I pen these words. 

This is a challenging time for me. Let’s face it, many are facing challenges right now they never assumed they would face. When we should be supporting each other, we are more divided than ever. I never thought I would see the day when we were medically divided, but I digress.

Over the last few weeks, I have written about hard decisions I am facing. Frustrations with life and work. Joys of family and church. So much has filled these pages. Fear of the unknown coupled with excitement to step out and do some things that some may ridicule while I know God is opening some unique doors for me to help others while providing for my family. 

You may be like me and have a difficult time wording your thoughts to God during certain seasons of life. Right now, I am writing my prayers. I’m still praying, and my concentration during written prayer is so much better. Journaling has brought a depth to my walk with God right now that I have missed for a while.

Maybe it’s time you start writing your thoughts. You might find yourself with greater concentration. The beautiful part about this is that you can look back later and see different things God did and you may easily forget if you don’t record it. 

I encourage you to prayerfully consider journaling. I’m not recommending anything fancy. My “journal” currently consists of scrap paper. Don’t worry about the method. Just sit down and pour out your thoughts. If you do, let me know how it goes. If you already do this, drop a testimony in the comment section. Sending my love to you all!

6 Years!

I’ll never forget how things happened overnight in 2015. In June, I met my wife. In July, we began our courtship. On September 11, we were married. Remember the song by Bonnie Raitt “Let’s give ‘em something to talk about”? Jennifer and I got everyone’s curiosity up here in the Golden Corner of South Carolina. Today, we celebrate 6 years of marriage. 

These 6 years have not been without their challenges. In 6 years, we have had 3 babies and had to move out of our house due to circumstances beyond our control. Add to that the challenges of blending a family. It’s not for the faint of heart. I firmly believe our past hardships from our previous marriages helped us be able to weather these storms a little better. 

To Jennifer, I want to thank you for taking this journey with me. I warned you that I was still called to ministry, and the road would be bumpy. You were willing to sign up for the roller coaster. Thank you for riding the waves and handling the challenges with grace and faith! Here’s to getting old and wrinkly together😂!

Remembering Pastor Ken Fetuao

Approximately five years ago, I was reaching out in a Facebook pastors group for support. I knew I was still called to be a pastor, but not many churches would touch a divorced guy with a 39 1/2-foot pole. Several pastors commented with their platitudes, but I received a message from a guy who had been in the same boat. He wanted to talk on the phone, so we set up a time and had a good conversation that would open the door for periodic contact over the next several years. 

Many Facebook connections never get to meet face to face, but Ken and I met for lunch when he was in the area last September. He was looking for preaching opportunities in our area, so I connected him with a local denominational leader. It was the least I could do for a man who encouraged me. 

Around lunch time today, I found out Ken went into the presence of the Lord he faithfully preached. In this stage of his life, Ken had a heart for churches that were struggling. There was no price tag to ministry for him. Based on the posts I have seen so far on his Facebook page, my life was not the only one that was touched by his kindness. 

Please pray for those who have been touched by his life and ministry. I pray the Lord will give me the heart for souls that this dear brother had. Enter into your reward, Pastor Ken! Until we meet in glory!

Mail Carrier

I have never had a job with the postal service, but I’ve been a mail carrier all my life. So have you! You might say, “Matthew, I don’t get it!” Let me explain😀.

We all deliver a message. The content of the message varies. You might be the bearer of good news, bad news, facts, misinformation, gossip, or the gospel. Depending on the kind of mail we deliver, some may be excited to be in our presence, while others may be excited to see us take a walk. 

What kind of mail do you deliver? Are you delivering the right kind? If not, what kind of mail should you be delivering? God, help us deliver a message that brings life and blessing to others, even when the message might cut against our sinful nature. 

Ghosted!

“Ghosted” is a very popular term and something many of us experience. The New York Times defines it this way: “Ghosting — when someone cuts off all communication without explanation — extends to all things, it seems.” In my years of ministry, I have been ghosted multiple times. People who promise to join the church choir will ghost you if they have no intention of really joining. Those who don’t want to hurt your feelings will ghost you by avoiding your phone calls, texts, Facebook messages, and other forms of communication. Ghosting is quite common, and I wish I could say I’ve never ghosted anyone, but I’m very guilty.

Ghosting displays our lack of courage. We who seek to avoid conflict find it much easier to ghost someone than to tell them how we really feel. While it seems that social media has made lions out of mice in some respects, it is still the easier form of avoidance in our modern, spineless society.

I’m so glad God never ghosts us. He doesn’t go out of His way to avoid us. He lovingly corrects us when we need it and gently comes alongside us when we need His comfort. He promised to never leave us nor forsake us, and He has since “eternity past” delivered on all His promises. 

Are you tempted to ghost someone? Maybe you’re currently doing that. Consider how you would feel. Take the high road. Answer that phone call. Have that face-to-face conversation. Be the courageous person God called you to be. You’ll be glad you did!

Accepting Your Assignment

In the world of ministry, there is an element of pressure to be a certain thing. If you pastor a church, you need to have certain goals, attire, etc. My reality is that I haven’t fit the modern bill for a pastor. I’m an old soul. I’m the guy that most people didn’t realize was in the room until 30 minutes later if at all. Guess what?!? That’s okay!

God doesn’t go after a certain type that impresses Him. Who would impress the Almighty anyway? According to I Corinthians 1, He says “not many mighty and not many noble are called” so that no flesh should glory in His presence. God never called me to be someone’s expectations. He has given me a specific assignment. Any other pursuit is a demonic distraction.

Maybe you’re struggling with who you are in Christ and how God has wired you. That’s okay! Allow God to show you your true identity and give you the contentment to accept that!

Does Anyone Blog Anymore? (Are You Still Out There?)

It’s been quite some time since I posted on this account. I left blogging for a minute and let the paid domain go for this account. WordPress made me invisible for several months because the unpaid domain reappeared, so I started a brand new blog with only 10 percent of my initial audience.

I have been blessed to have over 1,600 followers on this site. Are you guys still blogging? What developments have risen in your life in the last few years? I value our connection and would love to hear what is happening with you. Let me hear from you in the comment section.